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Corona virus jokes
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NJSS
 


Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10626

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Landmark LE Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4

Why we are short of face masks










 Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.

2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t. 
 
Post #213999021st Apr 2020 7:26 am
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Sea Raider
 


Member Since: 01 Nov 2016
Location: None
Posts: 4450


I am now getting a month to the gallon from the Discovery Big Cry
  
Post #214000821st Apr 2020 8:59 am
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HWN
 


Member Since: 23 Feb 2018
Location: Near Llanybydder (near Puff!)
Posts: 4472

Wales 2014 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE Auto Zermatt SilverDiscovery 4

Hardware wrote:
Just read that the poet laureate is doing stuff regarding CV-19 so thought I'd have a go too.


This Be The Verse

BY PHILIP LARKIN Hardware

They f**k you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They won’t stay in, don’t think that’s bad
because Corvid ? Just another ‘flu’.

So now they’re shopping in their turn
With friends in old-style hats and coats,
Who can’t decide where 2 metres ends
And half the time don’t give it a thought.

Old Man hands on corvid to man.
By NOT social distancing self.
STAY IN as much you really can,
Don’t infect any kids yourself.


Whistle


"I wandered lonely as a cloud..." surveilled by a Police drone and subsequently given a factually-incorrect talking-to by a PCSO.

"Into the valley of death rode the six-hundred..." keeping 2 m apart at all times, apart from any that are from the same family group.

"The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" written after six weeks on a quarantined cruise-ship.

"Tyger, tyger, burning bright..." is OK as long as the high temperature isn't accompanied by a dry cough.

"On the Ning Nang Nong, where the cows go bong!" - the carers are a bit delayed with the meds this morning, Hugh.

"If I should die, think only this of me" - the pictures in my browsing history are not mine and were probably posted by NJSS.

"Paradise Lost" - I haven't been able to do any gardening: SO19 turned up when I tried last week.
 
2015 Volvo V40
2014 D4 HSE
2006 RRS - C'est mort. Fin...  ...It's alive!  Oh no, it's not - scrapped.
2019 Suzuki Kingquad 400
2017 RamRod Taskmaster 1150
1977 John Deere 2130
 
 
Post #214001521st Apr 2020 9:26 am
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Hardware
 


Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 12848

United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 XS Auto Sumatra BlackDiscovery 4

"If I should die, think only this of me" - the pictures in my browsing history are not mine and were probably posted by NJSS.

Coffee all over the wall. Laughing
 .


Dean
====================================

2011 D4 XS - OBD port protection, RLD spare wheel protector, All LED interiors lights, Timed Climate enabled, iiD tool paired.
2011 D4 Landmark - Stolen from same dealer before I paid for it
2011 D4 GS - Stolen whilst at dealer Sad ... All LED interiors lights, DRLs, Spare Wheel protector.
1996 300Tdi - Eaten by tin worms 
 
Post #214002021st Apr 2020 9:39 am
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NJSS
 


Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10626

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Landmark LE Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4

Coffee all over the wall. Laughing

Truthfully all over the keyboard Evil or Very Mad

NJSS
 Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.

2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t. 
 
Post #214002521st Apr 2020 9:55 am
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HWN
 


Member Since: 23 Feb 2018
Location: Near Llanybydder (near Puff!)
Posts: 4472

Wales 2014 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE Auto Zermatt SilverDiscovery 4

Sorry. Wink
 
2015 Volvo V40
2014 D4 HSE
2006 RRS - C'est mort. Fin...  ...It's alive!  Oh no, it's not - scrapped.
2019 Suzuki Kingquad 400
2017 RamRod Taskmaster 1150
1977 John Deere 2130
 
 
Post #214008921st Apr 2020 12:35 pm
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astonbuilder
 


Member Since: 29 Sep 2006
Location: MIDLANDS
Posts: 8083

England 2012 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 XS Auto Santorini BlackDiscovery 4

  
Post #214014321st Apr 2020 3:43 pm
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Paul J.
 


Member Since: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Leafy Cheshire
Posts: 7421

United Kingdom 

 An ex-Disco3 / FFRR owner ......

..... now on the JLR electric highway. 
 
Post #214024821st Apr 2020 10:45 pm
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NJSS
 


Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10626

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Landmark LE Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4


Many a true word spoken in jest !




 Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.

2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t. 
 
Post #214028122nd Apr 2020 8:30 am
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Batfink
 


Member Since: 31 May 2017
Location: Isle of Sheppey
Posts: 1513

United Kingdom 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Zermatt SilverDiscovery 3







 2006 TdV6 HSE.  
Post #214036622nd Apr 2020 1:35 pm
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Batfink
 


Member Since: 31 May 2017
Location: Isle of Sheppey
Posts: 1513

United Kingdom 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Zermatt SilverDiscovery 3




Click image to enlarge



 2006 TdV6 HSE.  
Post #214037522nd Apr 2020 2:14 pm
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Batfink
 


Member Since: 31 May 2017
Location: Isle of Sheppey
Posts: 1513

United Kingdom 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Zermatt SilverDiscovery 3

 2006 TdV6 HSE.  
Post #214049722nd Apr 2020 9:50 pm
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NJSS
 


Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10626

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Landmark LE Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4

 Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.

2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t. 
 
Post #214063523rd Apr 2020 2:35 pm
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NJSS
 


Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10626

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Landmark LE Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4

 Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.

2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t. 
 
Post #214064723rd Apr 2020 3:08 pm
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Hardware
 


Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 12848

United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 XS Auto Sumatra BlackDiscovery 4

  
Post #214079823rd Apr 2020 9:08 pm
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