Member Since: 18 Aug 2013
Location: Aberdeenish
Posts: 1691
Old one, but still funny........
Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.
On the appointed day, the inspector turned up.
"Tell me about your staff," he asked Paddy.
"Well," said Paddy, "there's the farm hand, I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage.
Then there's the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging.
There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife."
"That's disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to interview the half-wit."
"That'll be me then," said Paddy.Stew,
2010 D4 gone but I really loved it
Went back to Merc - C350 AMG
25th Sep 2014 8:56 pm
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72931
Sounds familiar!!
25th Sep 2014 8:59 pm
Robbie
Member Since: 05 Feb 2006
Location: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Posts: 17932
DSL wrote:
And looks like you & your colleagues are going to be earning those wages even more from tomorrow onwards. Keep safe and, to quote from Gladiator, unleash hell.
Does it never end?
Not been called yet but at least it lowers the average milage on the Disco if I do go (again, again, again...).Land Rover - Turning Drivers into Mechanics Since 1948
Member Since: 01 Dec 2011
Location: cornwall
Posts: 10146
One thing that gets me when employing people is the employers NIC contribution !!! What the they have on average £35-45 deducted from there wages , and I have to pay £40-45 on top of that for employing them it doesn't help them or me , so mr tax man is getting around £80 per week NIC for 1 person s ....-------------------------------------------------
if you cant hold on dont let go , it ill come in handy for something even if you never use it.
D3 SE 05,
110 s wagon 300 tdi SOLD
h top transit
crew cab transit
transit connect
ausa dumper, muck truck .
peljob 2.5 digger
06 L 200 crew cab
25th Sep 2014 10:16 pm
BCP
Member Since: 25 May 2005
Location: East Scotland
Posts: 1469
Yup, NIC is just an "invisible tax" that doesn't get quoted when discussing tax rates. It's also the easiest tax to increase without grabbing the headlines.
VAT return submitted today...
25th Sep 2014 10:44 pm
Sloss
Member Since: 18 Aug 2013
Location: Aberdeenish
Posts: 1691
I now get some relief on NI at least in Scotlandshire. I save approx £2k in a year.
Haven't really looked at the rules, the Accountant does that.
A couple of years ago I sent the Acciuntant, a woman, a pic of my grandkids cleaning out the tracks of my Kubota in the yard.
She asked me if I kept it at home and used it for stuff.
I answered that I occasionally hammered in a fence post or cleared the stream.
She made me pay £200 Benefit in kind for that
I now lie and tell her it's kept at my business site Stew,
2010 D4 gone but I really loved it
Went back to Merc - C350 AMG
26th Sep 2014 7:59 am
stew 46
Member Since: 01 Dec 2011
Location: cornwall
Posts: 10146
It's not easy running your own business , but I wouldn't and probably couldn't work for anyone after 34 years of being self employed . The more you put in the more you get out , treat your customers like they are the best people in the world , give them what they want , and do the best you can for them not to hard really -------------------------------------------------
if you cant hold on dont let go , it ill come in handy for something even if you never use it.
D3 SE 05,
110 s wagon 300 tdi SOLD
h top transit
crew cab transit
transit connect
ausa dumper, muck truck .
peljob 2.5 digger
06 L 200 crew cab
26th Sep 2014 8:13 am
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72931
[controversial mode = on] Oi you lot stop complaining and get paying your taxes, someone's got to keep this woman in pizza, chocolate biscuits and crisps!!!!!! She wants you to pay her more!! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-...-diet.html [controversial mode = off]
Blue touch paper lit, now standing back.
26th Sep 2014 8:25 am
stew 46
Member Since: 01 Dec 2011
Location: cornwall
Posts: 10146
I know how hard it is to lose a few pounds but I work for my weekend cider people like that need to be educated on eating I'd get here out sweeping the streets -------------------------------------------------
if you cant hold on dont let go , it ill come in handy for something even if you never use it.
D3 SE 05,
110 s wagon 300 tdi SOLD
h top transit
crew cab transit
transit connect
ausa dumper, muck truck .
peljob 2.5 digger
06 L 200 crew cab
26th Sep 2014 8:45 am
Sloss
Member Since: 18 Aug 2013
Location: Aberdeenish
Posts: 1691
What a Munster!
You can be slim on junk food - just regulate the intake!
Two kids? some guy must have got horribly, totally out his face to 'do' that Stew,
2010 D4 gone but I really loved it
Went back to Merc - C350 AMG
26th Sep 2014 8:54 am
stew 46
Member Since: 01 Dec 2011
Location: cornwall
Posts: 10146
must of been a Friday cider night -------------------------------------------------
if you cant hold on dont let go , it ill come in handy for something even if you never use it.
D3 SE 05,
110 s wagon 300 tdi SOLD
h top transit
crew cab transit
transit connect
ausa dumper, muck truck .
peljob 2.5 digger
06 L 200 crew cab
26th Sep 2014 8:56 am
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72931
Sloss wrote:
Two kids? some guy must have got horribly, totally out his face to 'do' that
Guys, plural!!
26th Sep 2014 8:59 am
leeds
Member Since: 30 Aug 2010
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 4312
Can not afford healthy food but can afford tattoos??
Something about priorities?
£20,000 per year tax free is about £30,000 earned income. Now what is average wage in UK?
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they have on average £35-45 deducted from there wages , and I have to pay £40-45 on top of that for employing them 
it doesn't help them or me , so mr tax man is getting around £80 per week NIC for 1 person 
. The more you put in the more you get out 
I know how hard it is to lose a few pounds 
but I work for my weekend cider 
