Member Since: 12 Mar 2010
Location: Essex
Posts: 1739
Dead Duck
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150."
I'll get my coat!!
8th Jan 2013 12:15 am
Moo D3 Decade
Member Since: 13 Aug 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 14483
8th Jan 2013 12:38 am
Hairy Dan
Member Since: 19 Jan 2011
Location: Co. Durham
Posts: 12319
Cheers Ian
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Club N.E.R.D.S
Kielder 4x4 Safari
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8th Jan 2013 6:24 am
Rob_whp
Member Since: 06 Feb 2010
Location: Skipton, North Yorkshire
Posts: 490
8th Jan 2013 8:45 am
dangerdave
Member Since: 23 Nov 2010
Location: <>
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8th Jan 2013 8:55 am
Mark Y
Member Since: 14 Sep 2008
Location: Warwickshire
Posts: 1249
IID Pro MV License - D3, D4 & RRS - Enabling, Updates, D4 & RRS Timed / Remote Climate, D4 Bluetooth fitting
PM me for details
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D4 & RRS style D3 grilles made to order
8th Jan 2013 7:17 pm
Oswiperus D3 Decade
Member Since: 02 Apr 2010
Location: Chelmsford, Essex
Posts: 1600
It's the way you tell em Dan!
8th Jan 2013 8:22 pm
Russell
Member Since: 23 Aug 2007
Location: Kent
Posts: 10564
Very good MY17 D5 1st Edition Namib Orange
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Tow bar, full length roof bars, side steps, tow bar storage unit, surround camers.
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