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Corona virus jokes
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Madrilleno
 


Member Since: 13 Oct 2014
Location: Nottingham
Posts: 1760

England 2012 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 HSE Auto Santorini BlackDiscovery 4
Not rally funny at all

Subject: Your daily quiz



Time allowed: all summer.

At the top of the page, write your surname and other names, and your track and trace contact number.

INSTRUCTIONS

Answer ALL questions.
Use black ink or black ballpoint pen.
All questions relate to England only.
Do not show your workings or explain your thinking.
You must NOT use any logic.
MULTIPLE CHOICE
1) Boris Johnson makes a rare public appearance this afternoon. What is he announcing?

A vaccine breakthrough.
How to visit family who live too far away for a day trip.
Plans to prevent a generation of children having their education set back.
He wants to reopen zoos. √
2) What else will the prime minister be announcing to a grateful nation, suggesting he has been watching too many American films?

Ferris Bueller to have five months off.
Harry Potter should have been in Slytherin.
Jack Black to teach music in all schools.
The re-opening of drive-in cinemas. √
3) Which of these places is not acceptable for teenagers from Monday?

Legoland
Thorpe Park.
Chessington World of Adventures
Secondary schools. √
4) Which of these places is not acceptable for six to ten-year-olds from Monday?

Marks & Spencer.
John Lewis.
Selfridges.
Maths lessons √
5) According to Robert Halfon, the chairman of the education select committee, how many disadvantaged children are not doing home work and do not have proper access to computers or the internet?

400,000.
500,000.
600,000.
700,000. √
6) Before the lockdown, 46 per cent of people said the government was handling education well. What is the figure in the latest YouGov poll?

67 per cent.
57 per cent.
47 per cent.
37 per cent. √
7) If there are 500 children in a school, what is the best way to ensure that they all get supported in their education?

Provide a comprehensive programme of online study with regular school contact for all children.
Follow the lead of other countries, such as Belgium, where all under-12s are back at school.
Have a different year group of 100 in on each day of the week, allowing children to have some contact with teachers and their friends.
Allow one year group of 100 in for five days a week, and leave the rest at home watching YouTube videos about Greece and trying to find the protractor we panic-bought for £5 online. √
8) What should most children be taught?

Maths, English and science.
A proper understanding of Britain's role in slavery.
A mixture of academic subjects and how to be good citizens.
Nothing.√
9) A group of ministers spearheading the decision-making process has been nicknamed the "Save Summer Six". Which one is not included?

Doc.
Dopey.
Sneezy.
The education secretary.√
10) What did Alok Sharma say about the two-metre rule, and everything else, yesterday?

It's under review.
It's under review.
It's under review.
It's under review. √
ESSAY QUESTIONS
Choose one question to answer. Spend a long time working on it. It will not be marked.

1) Pubs and restaurants will not reopen until July 4, two months before most schools will reopen. Primary schools should install a beer garden. Discuss. (500 words)

2) Gyms will reopen months before secondary schools. It is more important for teenagers to stretch their muscles than their minds. Discuss. (500 words)

3) If there are 1.3 million children in England who qualify for the free school meals £15 voucher scheme for low-income families, it would cost £19.5 million a week to continue it during the summer holidays. If the furlough scheme is costing £3.5 billion per week, how many children could be fed with the same amount? Do not show any workings or explanation.

4) With ministers apparently more concerned about foreign travel and "air bridges" than maintaining education, what are the chances of parents accepting a fine for taking children out of school for a week for a holiday? Discuss. (One word)
 There are two rules for success,
1. Never tell everything you know.



RLD Spare Wheel Protector
RLD Sump Guard
Narpy Style RRS Grille from Beanie
Discostick 3rd button FBH controller
IID BT
EGRs Blanked
Geoff Gearbox Flush
Prospeed sliders & compressor guard 
 
Post #215350412th Jun 2020 10:24 pm
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RRSTDV8
 


Member Since: 07 Apr 2014
Location: Here
Posts: 13308

United Kingdom 

Funny but so sadly true. A "lost generation" indeed. Sad
 Visiting from rrsport.co.uk
2012 RRS SDV6
2008 RRS TDV8
"When you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die! You don't know who's children are going to scream and burn. How many hearts will be broken. How many lives shattered. How much blood will spill, until everybody does what they were always going to have to do from the very beginning: SIT DOWN AND TALK!" 
 
Post #215350712th Jun 2020 10:36 pm
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Disco_Mikey
 


Member Since: 29 May 2007
Location: Dundee, Scotland
Posts: 20784

Scotland 2005 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Cairns BlueDiscovery 3

 My D3 Build Thread

TDV8 Retrofit Build Thread 
 
Post #215377013th Jun 2020 9:10 pm
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Luapno
 


Member Since: 27 Sep 2013
Location: Birmingham
Posts: 873

United Kingdom 

This post has been edited by the site administration team
 When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. All of the pain is felt by others. The same thing happens when you are stupid.  
Post #215428015th Jun 2020 10:59 pm
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Canburne
 


Member Since: 15 Jan 2013
Location: Devon
Posts: 2030

Ukraine 2015 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 HSE Auto Aintree GreenDiscovery 4
What you can and can't do

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/lat...ling-keep/
 .
"the inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings....the inherent vice of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries" Winston Churchill

2016 D4 Landmark Club Waitomo ...or is it Club Tempest????
2015 D4 HSE Aintree Green 
 
Post #215455717th Jun 2020 10:56 am
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DSL
Keeper of the wheelie bin 


Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72917

Ukraine 

Sums it all up nicely. Thumbs Up
   
Post #215457217th Jun 2020 11:59 am
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Hardware
 


Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 12848

United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 XS Auto Sumatra BlackDiscovery 4

 .


Dean
====================================

2011 D4 XS - OBD port protection, RLD spare wheel protector, All LED interiors lights, Timed Climate enabled, iiD tool paired.
2011 D4 Landmark - Stolen from same dealer before I paid for it
2011 D4 GS - Stolen whilst at dealer Sad ... All LED interiors lights, DRLs, Spare Wheel protector.
1996 300Tdi - Eaten by tin worms 
 
Post #215605923rd Jun 2020 7:46 am
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Sea Raider
 


Member Since: 01 Nov 2016
Location: None
Posts: 4450


  
Post #215729329th Jun 2020 9:01 am
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darrind
 


Member Since: 04 Jul 2008
Location: In A World of My Own!
Posts: 2863

England 2013 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 HSE Auto Santorini BlackDiscovery 4
Is this N95 Compliant

Is this N95 Compliant??




Perhaps a new use for a Disco Pollen Filter!
 Must stop buying shiny toys....  
Post #216091714th Jul 2020 2:12 pm
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NoDo$h
 


Member Since: 02 May 2006
Location: Finding new and exciting ways to milk badgers.
Posts: 19689

Ukraine 

Probably easier to get hold of than the filters for my A1-P3 respirator. Been out of stock for months Neutral
 I know it's not considered "kind" to say no these days, but no. Just no, ok? And if it's not ok, still no.  
Post #216093114th Jul 2020 2:43 pm
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gstuart
 


Member Since: 21 Oct 2016
Location: kent
Posts: 13856

United Kingdom 2005 Discovery 3 TDV6 Base 7 Seat Auto Java BlackDiscovery 3

Can see a few creative masks being worn after the the 25th Laughing





   
Post #216093214th Jul 2020 2:46 pm
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gstuart
 


Member Since: 21 Oct 2016
Location: kent
Posts: 13856

United Kingdom 2005 Discovery 3 TDV6 Base 7 Seat Auto Java BlackDiscovery 3

Or better still, mad max style Laughing


Click image to enlarge
   
Post #216093714th Jul 2020 2:58 pm
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gstuart
 


Member Since: 21 Oct 2016
Location: kent
Posts: 13856

United Kingdom 2005 Discovery 3 TDV6 Base 7 Seat Auto Java BlackDiscovery 3
Re: Is this N95 Compliant

darrind wrote:
Is this N95 Compliant??




Perhaps a new use for a Disco Pollen Filter!


Rolling with laughter Bow down
   
Post #216093814th Jul 2020 2:59 pm
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highlands
 


Member Since: 11 Jan 2010
Location: NW Highlands
Posts: 5098

Ukraine 2005 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Java BlackDiscovery 3

The last cabin filter I got for the VW was HEPA rated....whatever that means.
 Black 05 TDV6 HSE Auto
Grey 05 TDV6 HSE Auto (Gone)
54 TDV6 SE Man (killed by me Sad
 
Post #216094214th Jul 2020 3:24 pm
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Hardware
 


Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 12848

United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 XS Auto Sumatra BlackDiscovery 4

https://www.instagram.com/p/CCn800cFIbe/?utm_source=ig_embed
  
Post #216101914th Jul 2020 8:21 pm
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