Member Since: 11 Sep 2006
Location: Swine Town
Posts: 2330
Blew my fuse
Just thought I'd share my experience of blowing a fuse (number 1) on the CJB.
Step 1. Blowing the fuse was easy. I stupidly had my house keys in my hand whilst changing a bulb in the forward map light cluster; a key got behind the frame and did some shorting out; pop went the fuse.
Step 2. I'd heard a thing or three about the useless positioning of the fuse box, and having seen it thought it could be tricky; so I planned for a good 15 minute slot to do it in.
Step 3. Getting out fuse 1. This was relatively straight forwards. I managed to get hold of the red fuse extractor and got it out without dropping it into the bottomless pit of despair that lurks underneath the fuses. I (cleverly) tied some string to the tool, so that when I dropped it (not if) I could haul it out and start again. Haul it out and start again I did many times too, before it came out with the fuse on it.
Step 4. Getting a spare fuse. OMG! The fun began! After 10 crazy minutes I managed to get hold of the spare 10A fuse with the red tool. I had to move around like a tart in a reliant robin until I could get myself into a useful position whereby both my hand and the tool could be in the gap at the same time. One or other was no problem, but together was impossible.
I finally managed by moving the passenger seat forwards, and sprawling across the gear-stick from the drivers side, with a torch held in my teeth and small rivers of blood starting to ooze where my hand had got scratched on all the conveniently placed razor edges in there. Who says the art of vehicle design was dead; here was one of those touches that normally goes unappreciated.
Having the tool on the fuse and my hand on the tool, I yanked. , the fuse stayed put but I was strting to worry about fluid loss. For some reason there wasn't a DIY plasma drip next to the fuse tool. I think this is bad design.
Obviously I had to keep going, as the red mist had descended and I knew I couldn't let it beat me. No worries, I had this down to a fine art by now, so another 4 minutes later I had the tool back on the fuse, and yanked again. Fuse removed!!!!!!!! I almost cried with joy, then looked at the interesting brown colour of the fuse. Wrong one. Dilema : Spend 30 minutes putting it back, or move on? I moved on. After several more deep scratches, a banged head when I pressed the horn with my knee and startled myself, and the postman 'kindly' handing me my post whilst I was damned near upside down in the passenger footwell, I got the red 10A fuse firmly in my grip, pulled it out and...and...dropped it.....
Step 5. Driving to Maplin. This was fairly easy, even though the cramp in my hand from working on the fuse tool was making it difficult to hold the wheel comfortably.
Step 6. New Fuses. Started off by soaking my hands in hot water to ease up the pain and try and restore some suppleness. Put a new fuse in the tool, got a grip (mentally and physically) and started the insertion procedure. I got it lined up after only a couple of minutes (the number one fuse is in a relatively easy position) and shoved. It failed to drive home. I realigned and tried again. Three times. Then I shoved hard, but heard the spang of the plastic giving up. I removed the shards from the fuse tool and tried another one. This time, I got lucky, and bu99er me I'd done it! I'd taken on the fusebox and after losing many battles had won the war!
Epilogue : To avoid your own mental breakdowns, infected cuts and scratches, broken nails and bruised ribs, can I suggest the following advice to would be brandishers of a replacement fuse.
To simplify the procedure, get yourself one of those meat tenderising hammers, and repeatedly beat your fingers and hand until it looks like hamburger.
Then call LRAssist/RAC/AA/Dealer and get them to do it, showing them your mangled hand as proof that you'd at least tried to take on that animal, that beast, that demonic spawn from hell that takes earthly form in a piece of plastic 10mm long with metal legs.
You've been warned Dr. Ian Malcolm:
"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."
Transgenic tomato anyone?
14th Oct 2009 12:00 pm
SN
Member Since: 03 Jan 2006
Location: Romiley
Posts: 13710
cracking read Steve N | 21MY Defender | 08MY Discovery 3 (history) | 06MY Discovery 3 (ancient history)
14th Oct 2009 12:08 pm
tanters
Member Since: 24 Oct 2007
Location: Oireland
Posts: 4287
I had to change fuse 9 (5amp) on Sunday and my hands bare the scars too from trying to dig out the spare. In the end I just used the one for the auto transmission as I have manual A happy childhood ... is the worst possible preparation for life.
thankyou. You have just bought a big to me as I sit here an a very boring conference call...The next American ex-pat that calls it a "truck" is going to find out what 2.7 tons feels like on their foot...
Club "yes, I too have had the EGR's replaced..."
Club "yes, I too have had the compressor replaced..."
Club "yes, I too once had the car at the dealer for a couple of weeksnearly 4 weeksover 4 weeks...5 weeks"
Club "yes, I too have had EPB failure..."
Club "yes, I too get mysterious bings and bongs..."
14th Oct 2009 12:30 pm
Stu
Member Since: 08 Feb 2009
Location: Hampshire
Posts: 2423
Dom I've been there too. When I got my netbook installed in the car I got a 12v power suplpy and it blew the fuse for the power socket in the car, I realised the socket wasn't working so tried the other front socket, which also wasn't working, so I then tried the one in the middle which I knew was working. That also wasn't working so I figured it was the lead. However it had blown the three fuses for each of the sockets I tried. So I had to change three fuses. I know what you mean about the sliced hands. I did mine from the passenger side - I stayed outside on my knees to reach the box, I couldn't see what I was doing, so I just used the force!D3 HSE MY05 Auto
Expo Rack, Club MTR, LR Spots, A Bar, Light Guards, GNVP Sump Guard, GNVP Ladder, Cup Holders, RLD A Bar brackets. Disco3Club stickers, Aux power on Mod
14th Oct 2009 12:39 pm
stapldm
Member Since: 11 Sep 2006
Location: Swine Town
Posts: 2330
Something told me that'd strike a chord with anyone that'd been there
Edit : hit submit instead of preview
I wonder if the D4 has a fuse cam with yellow guide bars on the display, maybe with rising pitch beeps as you approach the right slot?
I've seen that approach before Stu; an allegedly proficient engineer moved a failed disk pack off a 1970's mini computer I was looking after down the entire chain of drives trying to get the data off it...all drives needed new heads afterwards and the disk pack was shredded Dr. Ian Malcolm:
"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."
Transgenic tomato anyone?
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, the fuse stayed put but I was strting to worry about fluid loss. For some reason there wasn't a DIY plasma drip next to the fuse tool. I think this is bad design.
| 08MY Discovery 3 (history) 
thankyou. You have just bought a big 
to me as I sit here an a very boring conference call...
