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lee01277
Member Since: 06 May 2005
Location: Shed
Posts: 821
  
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| Dog v Cat - Their view on life |
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Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary..
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. B*st*rds.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................ ..............Somewhere in-between my old D3 and what's to come next .........
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 10th Feb 2009 11:30 pm |
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AVE
D3 Decade
Member Since: 12 Nov 2006
Location: First house on the left
Posts: 3099
 
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| Re: Dog v Cat - Their view on life |
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lee01277 wrote:
he is safe. For now................
  As you slide down the banister of life
may no splinters point your way
Disco XXV
RRS2 Autobiography Dynamic MY16
Discovery Sport HSE Lux MY17
Evoque HSE Dynamic MY16 (Gone)
RRS2 Autobiography Dynamic MY14 (Lovely car but preferred the Disco!)
Disco 3 Tdv6 HSE MY05 (owned for 11 years and now gone)
Range Rover Sport HSE MY11 (Gone)
Freelander2 SE (Gone but the most reliable car we've ever owned)
Disco 2 V8 (Gone)
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| 10th Feb 2009 11:36 pm |
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heine
Member Since: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 4054
 
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Sounds about right
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| 11th Feb 2009 6:24 am |
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White Disco
Member Since: 15 Jan 2007
Location: Gondwana. It's raining. We'll All be roon'd.
Posts: 1463
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 Did you think I would leave you crying,
When there's room in my D3 for 7,
Climb in here Joe we'll soon be flying,
I can go just as fast with 7.
2005 TDV6 S with Terrain Response (& all that entails), Tasmods (gorn). 2008 TDV6 HSE (gone). A Dark Side umbrella (here) & car (here).
Volkswagen Golf (SWMBO's)
Datsun Insult (SWTSMBOBIO22SHOMSAH)
Datsun Insult (SWTSMBOBIO19SHOMSAH)
4 BMW's (Stents, not the silly cars)
Formerly RED DISCO
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| 11th Feb 2009 9:07 am |
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Dale
Member Since: 19 Dec 2008
Location: St Neots
Posts: 26
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love it! Beds, Herts, Cambs Discovery Owners Club Local Section Rep
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| 11th Feb 2009 7:56 pm |
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zebadee
Member Since: 15 Feb 2006
Location: The Magic Roundabout
Posts: 1392
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Precisely why I am a Dog person 8) & most definitely not a cat person 
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| 11th Feb 2009 8:30 pm |
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