Member Since: 05 May 2006
Location: Bundaleer
Posts: 4805
tanters wrote:
right DG, catweasel etc etc
so where TF did that come from FFS theres no pleasing some people . I havent even posted in the crap jokes thread and where else is the humour failure apart from now although justified at this point
my apologies to you for taking the piss out of JMC (who can handle it unlike some who shall remain nameless ) or is this your dicklicker dyslexia coming through
5th Dec 2008 5:19 pm
tanters
Member Since: 24 Oct 2007
Location: Oireland
Posts: 4286
catweasel wrote:
I havent even posted in the crap jokes thread
but you wanted to didnt ye DIDNT YE !
Ok ok, group hug everyone A happy childhood ... is the worst possible preparation for life.
5th Dec 2008 6:17 pm
SN
Member Since: 03 Jan 2006
Location: Romiley
Posts: 13710
doesn't matter how old they are, still made me laugh Steve N | 21MY Defender | 08MY Discovery 3 (history) | 06MY Discovery 3 (ancient history)
5th Dec 2008 7:03 pm
norto
Member Since: 10 Apr 2006
Location: batemans bay
Posts: 1605
Darwin award #1
A desperate thief decided to rob a US gunstore and take the money from the till.
he was not put off by a police car parked out side or the store being full of gun enthusiasts.
He rushed in and proceeded with his hold up.
The coroners report said he had been shot 23 times from seven different weapons. Pete
5th Dec 2008 10:58 pm
Renny
Member Since: 30 May 2006
Location: Fife, Scotland
Posts: 292
Darwin Awards 2008 - Ballon Priest
Quote:
20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean, Brazil) In 1982 Lawn Chair Larry, beloved survivor of a Darwin-worthy attempt, attached 45 helium weather balloons to his comfortable Sears lawn chair, packed a picnic and a , and cut the tether. But instead of drifting lazily above the Los Angeles landscape, the combined lift of 45 huge helium balloons rocketed Larry into LAX air traffic lanes 16,000 feet above sea level. Astoundingly, he survived the "flight."
In homage to Larry's aerial adventure, a Catholic priest recently ascended towards heaven on a host of helium party balloons. Adelir Antonio de Carli, 41, was attempting to set the world record for clustered balloon flight to publicize his plan to build a spiritual rest stop for truckers.
Sitting for more than 19 hours in a lawn chair is not a trivial matter, even in the comfort of your own backyard. The priest took numerous safety precautions, including wearing a survival suit, selecting a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and a GPS. However, the late Adelir Antonio made a fatal mistake.
He did not know how to use the GPS.
The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over land, but chose not to. When the voyager was perilously lost at sea, he prudently phoned for help. But rescuers were unable to reach him since he could not use his GPS! HE struggled with the control panel as the charge on the satellite phone dwindled.
Instead of a GPS, the priest let God be his guide, and God guided him straight to heaven. Bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and beaches. Ultimately the priest's body surfaced, confirming that he, like Elvis, had left the building.
The kicker? It's a Double Darwin. Catholic priests take vows of celibacy. Since they voluntarily remove themselves from the gene pool, the entire group earns a mass Darwin Award. Adelir Antonio wins twice over!
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