Member Since: 18 Mar 2006
Location: in the rhondda valleys
Posts: 945
Tuesday Humour 2 adult content
NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND.
>
> A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months.
> Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them
> was
> washing her private area and noticed that t here was a
> slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her
> there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was
> definite movement.
>
> They went to her husband and explained what happened,
> telling him,
> 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little 'oral
> sex' will do the trick &
> bring her out of the coma.' The husband was skeptical,
> but they
> assured him that they would close the curtains for
> privacy.
>
> The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's
> room. After a
> few minutes the woman's monitor flatlined, no pulse, no
> heart rate. The
> nurses run back in to the room. 'What happened!?'
> they cried.
> The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she
> choked.'
>
> NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
2 Too many seats now
No trouble so far
tow pack, tasmods sills
IT goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows
6th Jan 2009 9:37 pm
heine
Member Since: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 4054
6th Jan 2009 9:40 pm
GLYNNE
Member Since: 06 Oct 2006
Location: KENT
Posts: 4645
6th Jan 2009 9:41 pm
flinty99
Member Since: 17 Mar 2008
Location: Northumberland
Posts: 2558
6th Jan 2009 9:46 pm
kevi
Member Since: 18 Mar 2006
Location: in the rhondda valleys
Posts: 945
Paddy & Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a
> disaster! Paddy missed the tube & Mick came on the bus!!
A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy odered
> a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like
> a drink.
>
> He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a
> dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"
>
> Paddy handed his drink back & said "Me too, I
> didnt know we had a choice!"
Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy
> says to Murphy "Im gonna have the day off, Im gonna
> prtend Im mad!"
>
> He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts
> "I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!" Murphy
> watches in amazement!
>
> The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go
> home" So he leaves the site.
>
> Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
>
> "Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.
>
> "I cant work in the friggin dark! " says Murphy.Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
2 Too many seats now
No trouble so far
tow pack, tasmods sills
IT goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows
6th Jan 2009 9:51 pm
kevi
Member Since: 18 Mar 2006
Location: in the rhondda valleys
Posts: 945
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.
> After 3 hours of amazing sex Paddy says "I wonder how
> the girls are getting on"
Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She
> undresses & lies on the bed spreadeagled & says
> "You know what I want dont you?"
>
> "Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole friggin
> bed by the looks of it!"
Paddy's chat up lines:
>
> 1. Did ya fart? 'Cos ya just blew me away!
> 2. Are your parents retarded? 'Cos your special!
> 3. My love for you is like diarrhoea. I just cant hold it
> in!
>
>
> 4. Is there a mirror in your knickers? 'Cos I can see
> myself in them!
>
>
>
> 5. Your body reminds me of a spanner. Evertime I think of
> you my nuts tighten up!
>
>
>
> 6. You might not be the best looking girl in here, but
> beauty is only a light switch away!
>
>
Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbours
> dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says "To
> hell with this!" & storms off
>
> He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks
> "What did you do?"
>
> Paddy replies "Ive put the dog in our garden, lets see
> how they like it!"
An Irishman is making love to a Jewish girl & says
> "You're not very tight for a Jew!"
>
> She says "Well you're not very thick for a
> Paddy!"
An Irishman is making love to a Jewish girl & says
> "You're not very tight for a Jew!"
>
> She says "Well you're not very thick for a
> Paddy!"
last one
Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby
> cemetery. Mick say "Crikey! Theres a bloke here who was
> 152!"
>
> Paddy says "Whats his name?"
>
> Mick replies "Miles from London !"Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
2 Too many seats now
No trouble so far
tow pack, tasmods sills
IT goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows
6th Jan 2009 10:13 pm
POINTYED
Member Since: 22 Mar 2008
Location: BURY,LANCS
Posts: 2758
hi
dont know how long they will stay on but
dunc life is tooooo short.enjoy the moment.dont worry be happy
club BSS
6th Jan 2009 10:18 pm
Discoeast
Member Since: 19 Feb 2008
Location: Boksburg
Posts: 800
More D3 bullbar-spots-roof rack with spots-ladder-long range tank-swing out spare wheel carrier- upgraded tow bar-dash console-internal water tank-duel awnings-drawer system & T T.
7th Jan 2009 9:04 am
BORDER ROVER
Member Since: 03 Dec 2007
Location: Cumbria
Posts: 1105
Very good, POT NOODLE NAVIGATION CHALLENGE 2010 WINNER
Club Sankey
Club pie and peas
7th Jan 2009 10:55 am
TonyH
Member Since: 01 Mar 2006
Location: Market Drayton, Shropshire
Posts: 211
And here's another:
THINGS YOU CAN ONLY SAY AT CHRISTMAS
�1: I prefer breasts to legs.
2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3: Smother the butter all over the breasts.
4: If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!
5: I've never seen a better spread!
6: I fancy a little dark meat for a change.
7: Are you ready for seconds yet?
8: It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9: Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10: Don't play with your meat!
11: Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
12: Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13: I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!
14: You still have a little bit on your chin.
15: How long will it take after you put it in?
16: You'll know it's ready when it pops up..
17: Just pull the end and wait for the bang.
18: That's the biggest bird I've ever had!
19: I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning.
20: Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------*Disco3 7-seat Auto
March 2006
Zermatt silver
*Disco TD5 GS Manual
2001
Epson Green
108,000 miles without a single problem
*Disco TD200 Manual
1993
Bonatti Grey
55,000 trouble-free miles
*Various company cars, no comparison
Irish jokes I'm not as good as I once was........but I'm as good once as I ever was.
7th Jan 2009 11:36 am
TonyH
Member Since: 01 Mar 2006
Location: Market Drayton, Shropshire
Posts: 211
Nothing Irish about Kevi's opening joke*Disco3 7-seat Auto
March 2006
Zermatt silver
*Disco TD5 GS Manual
2001
Epson Green
108,000 miles without a single problem
*Disco TD200 Manual
1993
Bonatti Grey
55,000 trouble-free miles
*Various company cars, no comparison
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