Willy Eckerslike
Member Since: 12 Jan 2009
Location: N Yorks
Posts: 1612
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SSSHHH, make sure SWMBO isn't looking over your shoulder
VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES ---
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman
How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.
Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
Made her chain too long
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you, and your D3
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer
to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are sexy.
Club Pie n Pea
One life....Fish it
D3 Gone but not forgotten
Club Men of Oak
Club Walnut sniffers
D4 Van owner
Ents long lost Uncle
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8th Feb 2009 10:51 am |
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GLYNNE
Member Since: 06 Oct 2006
Location: KENT
Posts: 4676
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Been on before but still good
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8th Feb 2009 11:13 am |
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Willy Eckerslike
Member Since: 12 Jan 2009
Location: N Yorks
Posts: 1612
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Most everything happens elswhere before it happens in N Yorks.
We're a bit behint the times lad Club Pie n Pea
One life....Fish it
D3 Gone but not forgotten
Club Men of Oak
Club Walnut sniffers
D4 Van owner
Ents long lost Uncle
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8th Feb 2009 11:48 am |
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