Member Since: 19 May 2006
Location: lancashire
Posts: 585
aircraft techs could have been trained by landrover
read this and note the similarities...........
Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college
degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.
Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a
"gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of
humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
(marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked with an"S")
by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline
that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet
per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
p: Aircraft handles funny.(I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and
be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: M ouse in cockpit.
s: Cat installed.
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
I'm not as good as I once was........but I'm as good once as I ever was.
19th Oct 2008 12:31 am
SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
19th Oct 2008 12:24 pm
Reggieb
Member Since: 13 Sep 2007
Location: Watford, Herts.
Posts: 707
TDV6 HSE - Light Guards - White Reflective Sticker
Club--Engel
Club--Satnav on the move (Thanks Pete)
Club--Kumho KL71 (265/70 17) they kick!
Club--Three Musketeers
Club--GNVP Sump Guard (The nuts)
Disco3Club
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
19th Oct 2008 12:41 pm
heine
Member Since: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 4054
19th Oct 2008 5:26 pm
ashlr2004
Member Since: 27 Aug 2008
Location: Nelson, Lancashire
Posts: 166
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