Popelka
Member Since: 31 May 2008
Location: Praha (Prague)
Posts: 2430
|
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
********
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
********
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need.
********
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
********
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
********
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
********
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
********
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
*******
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. Experience is a difficult teacher, because she gives the test first and then the lesson afterwards!!!!
|
 12th Oct 2008 1:30 am |
|
|
Calcul@tor
Member Since: 08 Mar 2006
Location: Middle England!
Posts: 810
  
|
so many - so true!
 D4 XS MY12 Galway
|
| 13th Oct 2008 9:55 am |
|
|
tanters
Member Since: 24 Oct 2007
Location: Oireland
Posts: 4287
  
|
 A happy childhood ... is the worst possible preparation for life.
|
| 13th Oct 2008 10:12 am |
|
|
BORDER ROVER
Member Since: 03 Dec 2007
Location: Cumbria
Posts: 1105
 
|
POT NOODLE NAVIGATION CHALLENGE 2010 WINNER
Club Sankey
Club pie and peas
|
| 13th Oct 2008 11:44 am |
|
|
WaznotWas
Member Since: 11 Jun 2008
Location: A long way from nowhere!
Posts: 1101
|
And almost all PC as well - things can only get better  FORECAST FOR TONIGHT: things have happened out there!!!
The countryside is still OURS!!
Club 3 Musketeers, Club D3C, Club Midland CB, Club Vertex PMR, Club GNVP Sump Plate, Club GNVP Sliders, Club Uncle Ray Spare Wheel Protector, Club Smooth Steering Wheel, Club McStuckie
07 HSE Z Silver, black leather, Black RRS badges,
19" anthracite wheels - off, 18" Silver / General AT2's - on,
300 TDI Disco 1 - Sheltering the lawn!
|
| 13th Oct 2008 11:48 am |
|
|
