Hassle
Member Since: 19 Nov 2008
Location: Sleaford
Posts: 723
  
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Three married guys die and meet St. Peter at the pearly gates.
Peter asks the first guy, "Did you ever cheat on your wife ? "
The guy answers truthfully, “Every chance I got “Peter then points to two doors and says to enter the second one. "
He turns to the second guy asking him the same question. “A couple of times," the guy mutters. Peter tells him to take door two.
Peter asks the third guy," Did you ever cheat on your wife? ".
The guy thinks for about five seconds and says, "Well, yes. You see I was in this saloon in Texas and noticed that they had only one cowgirl working there to take care of all the guys. I asked the bartender how come, and he said 'Well, that's all we need. That filly can suck a baseball bat through a garden hose. So that's when I cheated on my wife".
Peter then told the guy to enter door number one.
The guy asks "What's the deal? You sent the others to door number two?"
Peter says, "Yes, and they're both going to Hell........ . But you and I are going to Texas !" 
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 11th Dec 2008 9:58 am |
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heine
Member Since: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 4054
 
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| 11th Dec 2008 10:59 am |
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cdodkin
Member Since: 18 Aug 2008
Location: Ex Pat Brit in California
Posts: 700
  
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From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin , Texas after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and t hen switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.
At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.
To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station.
This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.'
'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Redneck. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.' 08 LR3 SE V8 - 02 D2 SE7 V8
Porsche 911 (03 996) - 2013 MINI Cooper S
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| 11th Dec 2008 4:49 pm |
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Hassle
Member Since: 19 Nov 2008
Location: Sleaford
Posts: 723
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| 11th Dec 2008 5:21 pm |
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kevi
Member Since: 18 Mar 2006
Location: in the rhondda valleys
Posts: 945
  
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 Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
2 Too many seats now
No trouble so far
tow pack, tasmods sills
IT goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows
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| 11th Dec 2008 10:20 pm |
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heine
Member Since: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 4054
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You've given me a great business idea . "Decoys R Us"
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| 12th Dec 2008 7:27 am |
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