kevi
Member Since: 18 Mar 2006
Location: in the rhondda valleys
Posts: 945
  
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| Sunday joke A job with the Council |
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A guy goes to the Local Council to apply for a job
The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'
He answers 'Yes - caffeine'
'Have you ever been in the services?'
'Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'
The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?
The guy says, 'Yes 100%... a bomb exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'
The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now. Normal hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM.
You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10 AM every day.'
The guy is puzzled and says, 'If t he hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM, why don't you want me to be here before 10 AM?'
'This is a council job,' the interviewer says. 'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.' Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
2 Too many seats now
No trouble so far
tow pack, tasmods sills
IT goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows
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 11th Jan 2009 11:03 pm |
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cherokee
Member Since: 03 Jul 2007
Location: preston
Posts: 562
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 nice one  Always walk behind a Shooter and
In front of a Sh*ter
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| 11th Jan 2009 11:35 pm |
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flinty99
Member Since: 17 Mar 2008
Location: Northumberland
Posts: 2558
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How true that is (so i'm told by the dragon-in-law who works at the council) 
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| 11th Jan 2009 11:37 pm |
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AndrewW
Member Since: 06 Aug 2007
Location: Saddleworth
Posts: 2302
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Friend of mine is a tree surgeon. He spent many years self-employed in Germany before home-sickness struck. He sold up and returned to Blighty, getting a temporary job with the local council so as not to eat into his savings.
Day 1 he was allocate to a gang of 3, with a truck. Arriving at the first job, they unloaded the tools and told him to wait there as it was now breakfast time and they would go and get the coffee and bacon butties. That took three of them and the truck.
When they got back, my friend told them he had done the few jobs listed on the piece of paper with the tools. What was next?
"WHAT?? You daft bu99er??!!! That's the day's work for the gang!!! Who the  do you think you are? Superman? ......" etc etc for 10 minutes.
They wouldn't work with him again. 2006 D3 finally swapped for a 2016 D4 Graphite in Graphite grey. No mods
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| 12th Jan 2009 3:18 am |
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JF Lux
Member Since: 08 Sep 2007
Location: A little country in Europe
Posts: 3522
  
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AndrewW - that is not restricted to the UK. THe son of a friend of mine got a summer job last year with the local commune (= council). He was told he was working too hard and finishing too many jobs too quickly...
(Wish I could get a job like that... ) The next American ex-pat that calls it a "truck" is going to find out what 2.7 tons feels like on their foot...
Club "yes, I too have had the EGR's replaced..."
Club "yes, I too have had the compressor replaced..."
Club "yes, I too once had the car at the dealer for a couple of weeks nearly 4 weeks over 4 weeks...5 weeks"
Club "yes, I too have had EPB failure..."
Club "yes, I too get mysterious bings and bongs..."
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| 12th Jan 2009 7:23 am |
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AndrewW
Member Since: 06 Aug 2007
Location: Saddleworth
Posts: 2302
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JF Lux wrote:(Wish I could get a job like that... )
Stand for Parliament - or even better European Parliament! They don't even work that hard or that long. People throw money at them to stop them working, I think. Then a fat pension... 2006 D3 finally swapped for a 2016 D4 Graphite in Graphite grey. No mods
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| 12th Jan 2009 2:10 pm |
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UNG
Member Since: 20 Jun 2008
Location: Lancs
Posts: 773
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What gets me is they don't do alot and get a bonus. A council plumber I knew years ago started a 8 and finished by 10.30 - 11 am his work for the day was 4 tap washer repairs having done the 4 he got his bonus and a very early finish each day "Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag'em down to your level. It's cheaper".
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| 12th Jan 2009 3:31 pm |
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TazDaz
Member Since: 07 May 2007
Location: South East Essex
Posts: 2858
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 I wouldn't like to tell you lot how "much" I worked in the late 60's as a PLA London docker
.. and when it all went tits-up how much severance pay I got too 
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| 12th Jan 2009 6:58 pm |
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