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Somali Cruises
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Berlin Warrior
 


Member Since: 29 Nov 2007
Location: Berlin
Posts: 263

Germany 2008 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Java BlackDiscovery 3
Somali Cruises

Who's coming with me....?

Quote:
Subject: Special cruise information for adventurous travelers -- 2009 offer!

Special cruise 2009 offer for adventurous travelers.

I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan ) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania ).

The cost is a bit high @ $800 per person double occupancy but I didn't find that offensive. What I found encouraging and enlightened is that the cruise is encouraging people to bring their 'High powered weapons' along on the cruise.

If you don't have weapons you can rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master blacksmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon.

The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates.

Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package:

$800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)

M-16 full auto rental $25.00/day - ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armour piercing ammo at $15.95

Ak-47 rifle @ No charge - ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball ammo at $14.95

Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper rifle rental $55.00/day - ammo at 25 rounds 50 cal armour piercing at $9.95

Crew members can double as spotters for 30.00 per hour (spotting scope included).

Far Out ---- they even offer RPG's at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3 standard loads

"Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am."

Meals are not included but seem reasonable.

Most cruises offer a mini-bar.

These gung ho entrepreneurs offer......... get this .....

"MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire"

Sign my Censored up!

They advertise group rates and corporate discounts...... and even claim "FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY"

They even offer a partial money back guarantee if not satisfied.

Here's some text from the ad:

"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back including gun rental charges and any unused ammo ( mini gun charges not included).

How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking?

We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots.

We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia.

At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before Feb 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the calibre of your choice."

As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, there were a few testimonials:

"I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'LL never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!"----

Lars , Hamburg Germany

"Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun. PIRATES 0 -PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English"

Ned, Salt Lake city , Utah USA

I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM . Don't worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their Censored aim--reminds me of a drunken 'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam" -

"chopper' Dan ----Toledo USA.

"Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around and we saw them bleed and cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded pirate eaten by sharks--what a laugh riot!! This is a must do.---

Zeke-Minnahaw Springs Kentucky USA

Finally, someone had the common sense to cash in AND solve a major problem
 Knowledge & Reason - the arch enemy of faith

MY2008, Java Black TDV6 HSE, Alpaca with straight grain Wood, 19" alloys, fully loaded with all the toys Smile

Discovery 3, you know it makes sense. 
 
Post #45838724th Apr 2009 9:23 am
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SJR
 


Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030

England 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 SE Auto Arctic FrostDiscovery 3

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Bow down

do you know if you can take one of these Whistle

 I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Buzz Aldrin (1930 - 


Last edited by SJR on 24th Apr 2009 11:04 am. Edited 1 time in total 
Post #45839024th Apr 2009 9:30 am
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NoDo$h
 


Member Since: 02 May 2006
Location: Finding new and exciting ways to milk badgers.
Posts: 19689

Ukraine 

Soooo tempted 8)

Group buy?
 I know it's not considered "kind" to say no these days, but no. Just no, ok? And if it's not ok, still no.  
Post #45842224th Apr 2009 10:43 am
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al cope
 


Member Since: 08 Nov 2005
Location: Oldbury, WM
Posts: 10299

England 

I've just submitted this for our next team meeting event Thumbs Up

Al
 Volvo XC90 B5 Plus Dark
Gone - MY18 D5 HSE - Corris on 22's with Black Pack
Now gone - MY16 D4 SE Tech, Loire Blue, Almond Leather, Privacy, plus some other goodies.
Old - MY12 D4 SDV6 XS Auto - Ipanema Sand with Almond Leather - Plus other niceties, and D4.com sticker
Older - D3 TDV6 XS Auto - Lugano Teal with Almond Leather, 20" Stormers, Shiny Tailpipes, DVD/TV - and obligatory D3 sticker
Ancient - D3 TDV6 S - Tonga with Ebony, 20" Stormers, satnav & DVD 
 
Post #45844124th Apr 2009 11:21 am
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JF Lux
 


Member Since: 08 Sep 2007
Location: A little country in Europe
Posts: 3522

Luxembourg 2008 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Java BlackDiscovery 3

SJR wrote:
Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Bow down

do you know if you can take one of these Whistle



Apparently...yes Laughing

Quote:
These gung ho entrepreneurs offer......... get this .....

"MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire"
 The next American ex-pat that calls it a "truck" is going to find out what 2.7 tons feels like on their foot...

Club "yes, I too have had the EGR's replaced..."
Club "yes, I too have had the compressor replaced..."
Club "yes, I too once had the car at the dealer for a couple of weeks nearly 4 weeks over 4 weeks...5 weeks"
Club "yes, I too have had EPB failure..."
Club "yes, I too get mysterious bings and bongs..." 
 
Post #45844824th Apr 2009 11:42 am
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CG
 


Member Since: 13 Nov 2007
Location: In the middle somewhere
Posts: 3745

England 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 S Manual Zermatt SilverDiscovery 3

Thumbs Up
Sure beats a corporate day out shooting clays
 
"I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you read is not what I meant" 
 
Post #45849924th Apr 2009 1:23 pm
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Jimbob Squarepants
 


Member Since: 27 Oct 2007
Location: Miles Away from Home
Posts: 1063

United Kingdom 2007 Discovery 3 TDV6 XS Manual Zermatt SilverDiscovery 3

Count me in Thumbs Up
 Too much intellectual firepower can damage your common sense.  
Post #45852524th Apr 2009 3:05 pm
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Berlin Warrior
 


Member Since: 29 Nov 2007
Location: Berlin
Posts: 263

Germany 2008 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Java BlackDiscovery 3

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8019084.stm


I wonder...........
 Knowledge & Reason - the arch enemy of faith

MY2008, Java Black TDV6 HSE, Alpaca with straight grain Wood, 19" alloys, fully loaded with all the toys Smile

Discovery 3, you know it makes sense. 
 
Post #45905026th Apr 2009 4:05 pm
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robsmith
 


Member Since: 02 Sep 2007
Location: Staffordshire
Posts: 2392

United Kingdom 2005 Discovery 3 TDV6 S Manual Zermatt SilverDiscovery 3

I notice they don't say what sort of water they spray at the pirates - its a safe bet it wasn't drinking water Whistle
 Rob Smith
Silver rools OK
 
 
Post #45906526th Apr 2009 4:43 pm
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