Member Since: 15 Oct 2008
Location: Lanarkshire
Posts: 1372
Serious Stuff This !!
A North Scottish Winter..
THE DIARY OF AN LONDONER WHO RECENTLY MOVED TO THE SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS.
'OUR FIRST WINTER.''
DEC 20TH
It's starting to snow. The first of the season and coming from the south, the first we've seen for many a year.The wife and I took out our hot toddies and sat on the porch watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.
DEC 24th
We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering as far as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bush covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first time ever,... and loved it.I did both our driveway and the pavement.. Later that day a snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shovelled it away again.
The children next door built a snowman with coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a snowball fight, a couple just missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back and joined in their fun.
DEC 26th
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped to around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now a brownish - grey.
JAN 1st
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our cars £500. Fell on my in the driveway. £100 to a physio but thankfully nothing was broken.
JAN 5th
Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to work.She slid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing - £2000 . Had another 8 inches of that white last night. Both vehicles are covered in salt and iced up slush
That b d with the snowplough came by twice today. Where's that bloody shovel.
JAN 9th
More f*****g snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn't been damaged.
Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearly torched the house. Imanaged to put the flames out but suffered 2nd Degree burns on my hands. Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes.
Car hit a stupid f*****g deer on my way to the casualty clinic, and was written off..
JAN 13th
F*****g b d white just keeps on coming down. Have to put on every article of clothing just to go to the post box. The little next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll shove that carrot so far up the little pricks it'll take a good surgeon 6 hours to find it.
If I ever catch the that drives the snowplough I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the b d hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he accelerates down the street like Michael Schumacher and buries the f*****g driveway everytime.
JAN 17th
Idont believe it, another 5inches of f*******g snow, ice, and f*****g sleet. God knows what other white fell last night.
I have to appear in court 3, in a months time for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice - pick.
Can't move my f*****g toes. Haven't seen the sun for 10 weeks. Minus 20c and more f*****g snow forcast
STUFF THIS FOR GAME OF SOLDIERS,.... I'M F*******G MOVING BACK TO LONDON !!
Maybe truth will be stranger than fiction............ The older I get, the more I realise that people confuse wrinkles for wisdom
Founder member of Club FFRRV
Club Orange, Mint or Fruit
Club Walnut Sniffers
8th Jan 2010 2:41 pm
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72787
Most excellent!!!
8th Jan 2010 2:58 pm
Mrs DSL
Member Since: 05 Oct 2009
Location: Oop Norf
Posts: 13
How's Mr Grumpy today...still moaning about the snow...
Mrs DSL must be a saint or deaf.
Happy New Year Mrs DSL.
Trev.
8th Jan 2010 3:44 pm
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72787
Mrs DSL just ignores me or throws a "yes dear" my way!! She was very good getting her car pulled out this morning, although there was a little sense of humour failure when she realised she had to be in either the pulling or pulled car!!
8th Jan 2010 3:50 pm
character
Member Since: 01 Jan 2008
Location: wiltshire
Posts: 5779
that reminds me of the lyrics to that "12 days of christmas" by that Irish folk singer..... you know, where the family friend sends them all the items in the carol and the mayhem caused etc etc.
9th Jan 2010 1:05 am
ad15
Member Since: 14 Dec 2008
Location: up that tree
Posts: 4866
not quite the one you were thinking of character, but the tiger version is good..
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in the driveway. £100 to a physio but thankfully nothing was broken.
