Member Since: 12 Jan 2009
Location: N Yorks
Posts: 1612
Northerners
Northerners
Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven , God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting.
He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'
God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'
'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'
'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.
'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'
God continued, pointing to the different countries.
This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'
The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'
'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, seven Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'
God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South!’
Club Pie n Pea
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23rd Dec 2009 11:16 am
Gareth Site Moderator
Member Since: 07 Dec 2004
Location: Bramhall
Posts: 26702
Martin W, from the south - well, more towards midlands really!07MY TDV6 HSE Stornoway Grey + Alpaca
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23rd Dec 2009 11:25 am
ad15
Member Since: 14 Dec 2008
Location: up that tree
Posts: 4866
if it's so good up there why you all keep coming down here on holiday one wife.......livid
Just to keep the balance right"SAME S**T DIFFERENT DAY"
23rd Dec 2009 11:41 am
Willy Eckerslike
Member Since: 12 Jan 2009
Location: N Yorks
Posts: 1612
ad15 wrote:
if it's so good up there why you all keep coming down here on holiday
Merely to confirm why we live in the North. Club Pie n Pea
One life....Fish it
D3 Gone but not forgotten
Club Men of Oak
Club Walnut sniffers
D4 Van owner
Ents long lost Uncle
23rd Dec 2009 11:52 am
ad15
Member Since: 14 Dec 2008
Location: up that tree
Posts: 4866
but willy, you can't even stand it up there, have to go get on a little metal island in the middle of no where,,, one wife.......livid
23rd Dec 2009 11:54 am
Willy Eckerslike
Member Since: 12 Jan 2009
Location: N Yorks
Posts: 1612
AD you're always a Northerner to someone.
Shamelessly lifted from K9f Defender2 site
"The north/south divide: is it a myth, or is there something deeeper going on here that lesser mortals can't quite grasp?
Analysts are pretty certain that a rift was formed under the governance of Mrs Thatcher, as she effectively shut down the north of England, and large parts of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland in order to bring prosperity to the south.
According to Mrs Burberry Smythe, of Winchester:
"If there indeed is a north/south divide, then the Northerners have brought it upon themselves. I mean, for God's sake, they keep ferrets and whippets, they wear flat caps and they eat pies with mushy peas. It's disgusting. And they don't seem to have developed a love affair with 4x4 vehicles, or Chelsea Tractors, as we affectionately refer to them. Those people ride buses and trains all the time and the only time culture impinges on their miserable existences is when they come to Wembley for the cup final."
"Hear hear," chipped in Bunty Axlegrease of Devizes. "They're just the most awful oiks. They're rough and they live in the most appalling conditions. And they supported Arthur Scargill. They deserve all they get."
Northerner, Mickey MacWhack of Liverpool countered with:
"We gave youse the Industrial revolution. We gave yer the Beatles, the greatest footy teams ever, we gave youse the Pankhursts, and Charles Babbage, who invented the first computer, we gave you Edward Elgar, and Halle. We gave you black puddings, Peter Kay, and Jim Bowen. Cilla and Jimmy Tarbuck. Not to mention Arthur Askey and Ken Dodd. "
"And Corrie. What did you give us? EastEnders. Thanks a f#####g bunch."Club Pie n Pea
One life....Fish it
D3 Gone but not forgotten
Club Men of Oak
Club Walnut sniffers
D4 Van owner
Ents long lost Uncle
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