Member Since: 08 Nov 2005
Location: Oldbury, WM
Posts: 10296
Leighton Buzzard Earthquake Appeal - please read
Leighton Buzzard Earthquake Appeal - please read
A major earthquake measuring 3.6 on the Richter scale hit South Bucks earlier this week, with its epicenter near Leighton Buzzard.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering 'faaackinell'.
The earthquake decimated the area causing almost £30.00 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.
Many locals were woken before their gyro's arrived.
Local radio DJ, Andy Badger Miles from 'Mirage' and his giggling friend Emma, reported that hundreds of residents were trying to come to terms that the fact that something interesting had happened in Leighton Buzzard.
One resident, Tracy Lloyd, a 15-year old mother of 5 said, 'It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all because they had a skinfull the night before. I was still shaking when i skinned up and watching Netflix .
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The British Red Cross has managed to ship 4,000 crates of lager and sunny delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and bone china from the Poundshop.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items needed most include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps, Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers), adidias poppers, shell suits (female) White sports socks, Timberland boots and any other items usually sold in Tesco's or Asda.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals, tins of baked beans, ice cream, cans of White Lightning or Special Brew.
50p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
£2.50 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9.
£10.00 buys a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
£25.00 buys a wrap of crack to help those really disturbed.
***BREAKING NEWS***
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop, 'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked 'Southcourt!' said the girl, 'wossit got to do wiv you mush?!'
AlVolvo XC90 B5 Plus Dark
Gone - MY18 D5 HSE - Corris on 22's with Black Pack
Now gone - MY16 D4 SE Tech, Loire Blue, Almond Leather, Privacy, plus some other goodies.
Old - MY12 D4 SDV6 XS Auto - Ipanema Sand with Almond Leather - Plus other niceties, and D4.com sticker
Older - D3 TDV6 XS Auto - Lugano Teal with Almond Leather, 20" Stormers, Shiny Tailpipes, DVD/TV - and obligatory D3 sticker
Ancient - D3 TDV6 S - Tonga with Ebony, 20" Stormers, satnav & DVD
11th Sep 2020 11:03 am
rrhool
Member Since: 28 Aug 2014
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 4399
Richard
D3 SE 2007. Triumph 2.5Pi 1973. Ferguson TEA20 1948.
Discovery 2 4.0 ES 2001- Gone
Discovery 1 300Tdi ES '95 - Gone
Range Rover Classic '79 - Gone
11th Sep 2020 11:05 am
Trailered Movements
Member Since: 16 Jan 2020
Location: East/West Sussex Coast Borders
Posts: 1198
It's brought a tear to my eye, and tea to my T-shirt, I couldn't stop laughing and spilt it!
A fine way to end the week, thanks.
Dave2011 Discovery 4 Commercial SDV6 (Gone)
2010 RRS TDV8 (Gone)
1980 OBLIC 4.0ltr Range Rover (went a long time ago)
11th Sep 2020 11:20 am
darrind
Member Since: 04 Jul 2008
Location: In A World of My Own!
Posts: 2863
Must stop buying shiny toys....
11th Sep 2020 12:50 pm
Fireburst
Member Since: 02 Nov 2017
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 187
Brilliant I bet some of the locals wouldn't think it so funny
11th Sep 2020 12:55 pm
ianm27
Member Since: 02 Jun 2016
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 2154
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