Discoeast
Member Since: 19 Feb 2008
Location: Boksburg
Posts: 800
  
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| FIFA 2010 Questions posted on the SA tourism we site |
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Funny FIFA 2010 World Cup questions
These questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website by foreigners around the world and were answered by the website owner
(Not sure how true that is but amusing anyway)
Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa ? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? ( UK )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much youve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, its only two thousand kilometres take lots of water...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa ? ( Sweden )
A: So its true what they say about Swedes...
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa ? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffreys Bay? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? ( USA )
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not...oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and well send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa ? ( France )
A: No, WE don t stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere where a significant number of Americans gather
Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa ? ( Germany )
A: Not yet, but for you, we ' ll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can di spense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will probably still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but youll have to learn it first. D3 bullbar-spots-roof rack with spots-ladder-long range tank-swing out spare wheel carrier- upgraded tow bar-dash console-internal water tank-duel awnings-drawer system & T T.
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 2nd Feb 2010 8:32 am |
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PaulP
Member Since: 04 May 2007
Location: Barcelona
Posts: 4317
 
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  2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 SE Auto Buckingham Blue
2007 Golf GT DSG
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| 2nd Feb 2010 9:42 am |
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JF Lux
Member Since: 08 Sep 2007
Location: A little country in Europe
Posts: 3522
 
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Its very funny...but not true.
I've already seen this under a title like "US tourist questions posted on Australian tourist board site" some time ago The next American ex-pat that calls it a "truck" is going to find out what 2.7 tons feels like on their foot...
Club "yes, I too have had the EGR's replaced..."
Club "yes, I too have had the compressor replaced..."
Club "yes, I too once had the car at the dealer for a couple of weeks nearly 4 weeks over 4 weeks...5 weeks"
Club "yes, I too have had EPB failure..."
Club "yes, I too get mysterious bings and bongs..."
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| 2nd Feb 2010 12:18 pm |
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tanters
Member Since: 24 Oct 2007
Location: Oireland
Posts: 4284
 
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Lux, its still funny  A happy childhood ... is the worst possible preparation for life.
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| 2nd Feb 2010 12:25 pm |
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heine
Member Since: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 4054
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Up this one has been recycled more times than U2 - but still good
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| 2nd Feb 2010 12:52 pm |
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JF Lux
Member Since: 08 Sep 2007
Location: A little country in Europe
Posts: 3522
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and here are a couple of extra ones (okay, so they are related to Australia and not SA...)
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise
A: Let's not touch this one
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia that dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. The next American ex-pat that calls it a "truck" is going to find out what 2.7 tons feels like on their foot...
Club "yes, I too have had the EGR's replaced..."
Club "yes, I too have had the compressor replaced..."
Club "yes, I too once had the car at the dealer for a couple of weeks nearly 4 weeks over 4 weeks...5 weeks"
Club "yes, I too have had EPB failure..."
Club "yes, I too get mysterious bings and bongs..."
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| 2nd Feb 2010 1:12 pm |
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Discoeast
Member Since: 19 Feb 2008
Location: Boksburg
Posts: 800
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I didn't say it was new, but good for a laugh D3 bullbar-spots-roof rack with spots-ladder-long range tank-swing out spare wheel carrier- upgraded tow bar-dash console-internal water tank-duel awnings-drawer system & T T.
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| 2nd Feb 2010 4:54 pm |
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