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Current Level of security
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Non Stick Nick
 


Member Since: 02 Oct 2005
Location: Reading, Berkshire
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Current Level of security

This is so good I had to pinch it from another forum, cheers
Dino Not sure if you have seen it yet....


The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

And at the other end of the world:

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". There has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of the final escalation level.
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Post #48294117th Jun 2009 2:32 pm
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BORDER ROVER
 


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Post #48296217th Jun 2009 3:29 pm
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heine
 


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Post #48302517th Jun 2009 4:52 pm
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CG
 


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Seen another version before, but it is still a good laugh Thumbs Up
 
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Post #48322717th Jun 2009 10:21 pm
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DSL
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Post #48323217th Jun 2009 10:27 pm
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DSL
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Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

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Post #48323417th Jun 2009 10:29 pm
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Spooky
 


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Post #48329517th Jun 2009 11:25 pm
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Bushwanderer
 


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Post #48336118th Jun 2009 4:20 am
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