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Corona virus jokes
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NJSS
 


Member Since: 06 May 2009
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Corona virus jokes

Whistle

I started this as a thread of 10 CV jokes, but it's been suggested that there could be more!


10. I know a great joke about the Corona virus, but you probably won't get it.

9. A man walks into a bar. "I'll have a Corona, hold the virus."

8. I sneezed in the bank today – it was the most attention I've received in ten years.

7. With all this talk of Corona virus the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.

6. I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant what killed the Corona virus.

"Ammonia cleaner,” she replied.

“Oh, sorry,” I replied, "I thought you worked here ..."

5. Someone with a cold: "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."

Someone with Corona virus: "I feel terrible, I think I'll go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white-water rafting in Camino de Santiago."

4. Don't worry, the Corona virus pandemic won't last long – it was made in China.

3. Definition of irony : when the Year of The Rat starts with a plague.

2. Ok, so if the Corona virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?

1. Before Corona virus I used to cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough.


NJSS
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none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t. 
 
Post #213075523rd Mar 2020 10:18 am
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nearlee
 


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Wales 2005 Discovery 3 TDV6 S Auto Bonatti GreyDiscovery 3

Bow down Rolling with laughter
 Just remember:-
Amateurs built the Ark
Professionals built the titanic 
 
Post #213080523rd Mar 2020 1:11 pm
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Dave T
 


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England 

Lesson suggestions for home schooling


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Post #213080623rd Mar 2020 1:11 pm
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Batfink
 


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I have spent the last two weeks covered in fibre glass roll and expanding foam then heard I was supposed to be self isolating.
 2006 TdV6 HSE.  
Post #213084323rd Mar 2020 3:20 pm
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robsmith
 


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Quote:
2. Ok, so if the Corona virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?

Actually it's about a soft drink
 Rob Smith
Silver rools OK
 
 
Post #213088623rd Mar 2020 4:46 pm
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gstuart
 


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As seen on the CNN John Travolta was hospitalised for a suspected Coronavirus. But doctors soon realised that it was only a Saturday Night Fever and he will be Staying Alive.

When do the Coronavirus symptoms begin to show up?
Right off the bat.
   
Post #213089323rd Mar 2020 4:56 pm
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Batfink
 


Member Since: 31 May 2017
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United Kingdom 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Zermatt SilverDiscovery 3

I said to my missus earlier, "Here, put this nurses outfit on."

‘Ooh fancy some fun do you?’

“No” I said, “We need a loaf of bread!”
 2006 TdV6 HSE.  
Post #213089723rd Mar 2020 4:58 pm
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D&G
 


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Post #213090723rd Mar 2020 5:27 pm
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DG
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Post #213090923rd Mar 2020 5:47 pm
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NCC-1031
 


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Apparently a bag has been confirmed to have the virus. Although not showing any symptoms, it is suspected it was a carrier.
  
Post #213094323rd Mar 2020 7:13 pm
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jamez79
 


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gstuart wrote:
As seen on the CNN John Travolta was hospitalised for a suspected Coronavirus. But doctors soon realised that it was only a Saturday Night Fever and he will be Staying Alive.

When do the Coronavirus symptoms begin to show up?
Right off the bat.


I'd heard he'd got the chills and they were multiplying... Whistle I'll get my coat.
   
Post #213097023rd Mar 2020 8:13 pm
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NCC-1031
 


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This post has been edited by the site administration team
  
Post #213102323rd Mar 2020 9:42 pm
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gstuart
 


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Quote from advert


One Piece Of Aldi Toilet Roll. Condition is New. Quality isn't bad but I can't guarantee that your finger won't go through.

Relisted due to Time waster. Genuine bids only, it's not as if this stuff grows on trees.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/One-Piece-Of-Al...Swoyled7lI



Click image to enlarge



Click image to enlarge
   
Post #213106323rd Mar 2020 10:35 pm
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pjm-84
 


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DG wrote:
https://youtu.be/GZCPMar4H1U


Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter
  
Post #213107923rd Mar 2020 10:55 pm
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NoDo$h
 


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 I know it's not considered "kind" to say no these days, but no. Just no, ok? And if it's not ok, still no.  
Post #213109223rd Mar 2020 11:19 pm
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